{"id":8910,"date":"2021-09-13T06:43:33","date_gmt":"2021-09-13T10:43:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=8910"},"modified":"2021-09-13T06:48:11","modified_gmt":"2021-09-13T10:48:11","slug":"ways-to-avoid-doing-stupid-things-in-your-old-age","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=8910","title":{"rendered":"Ways to Avoid Doing Stupid Things in Your Old Age"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I was looking for something to make me smile and laugh out loud on a lazy hot summer day, and decided that Steven Petrow\u2019s new book, <\/span>Stupid Things I Won\u2019t Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong<\/a> was my ticket.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Ostensibly, Petrow, 64, mined the lessons he gleaned from his aging parents for material, but in truth, he serves up much more than those.<\/p>\n

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Petrow writes essays for the\u00a0Washington Post<\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0New York Times<\/em>\u00a0on aging, health, and civility, and in full disclosure is someone I know from my board work as a fellow alum at Duke University.<\/p>\n

Read on MarketWatch<\/a><\/p>\n

What I discovered is a more than a few pieces of advice when it comes to tackling aging issues that resonated with me and I trust will with you, too.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Steven Petrow, image courtesy of website<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Petrow sets the stage by stating that by \u201cwriting these promises down, I hoped to ensure that I remember (and stick to) them. By sharing them in this book, I hope others may come to a greater awareness of the choices we make once we begin to think of ourselves as \u2018old\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

He writes: \u201cAm I . . . old? It\u2019s certainly a question very much on my mind these days. It\u2019s also on the minds of a great many of the seventy million Baby Boomers, now that we\u2019re all fifty-five plus.\u201d<\/p>\n

His bottom line is that it basically depends on our mental and physical health. He cites former President Jimmy Carter\u2019s explanation in his book,\u00a0The Virtues of Aging<\/a>. Carter wrote, \u201cThe correct answer is that each of us is old when we think we are\u2013when we accept an attitude of dormancy, dependence on others, a substantial limitation on our physical and mental activity\u2026This is not tied very closely to how many years we\u2019ve lived.\u201d<\/p>\n

In one chapter, Petrow takes us with him on a surfing lesson when he was 60 and his awareness of the insidious fear spurred perhaps unconsciously by age.<\/p>\n

I could relate because I still jump my horse around courses of jumps in competition, and, after a lifetime of doing this, I now get surprised by sudden flashes of fear seconds before my horse is set to leave the ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cTurns out that in surfing, as in life, fear of falling can actually lead to more falls,\u201d Petrow writes. His instructor pointed out to him that his aging body wasn\u2019t really the impediment. \u201cIt was my attitude, my fear.\u201d The instructor added: \u201cHesitation is totally the enemy. If you\u2019re not fully committed, you\u2019re history.\u201d Surfing well, his instructor told Petrow is: \u201clike not thinking. You\u2019re just in the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n

His niece, Jessie, who is with him says: \u201cThere\u2019s an element of risk each time you get up because there\u2019s always a chance that you\u2019ll fall. But do you have the trust, the willingness to take the leap, when you don\u2019t know the specified conditions each time?\u201d<\/p>\n

Petrow watches Jessie surf. She keeps her eyes \u201con the prize, which on the board means looking straight ahead to the shore,\u201d he writes. \u201cI couldn\u2019t help but think of the many times distraction had undermined me, personally and professionally, by tempting my focus away from the goal.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finally, his sage instructor reminds him. \u201cDon\u2019t let fear get in the way of living your dreams. It will handicap you,\u201d he said. \u201cUsually, fear holds you back and creates anxiety.\u201d<\/p>\n

I needed to be prompted by those surfing tips, even though it\u2019s not an activity that has ever appealed to me. Those are universal life instructions in my mind. My guess is each of you has something in your life that you can relate that feeling to.<\/p>\n

Petrow pens about the importance of having younger friends. He recalls how a woman who he was a younger follower of for more than 20 years once told him: \u201chaving younger friends opens your world up. They broaden your perspective.\u201d<\/p>\n

He digs in. \u201cShe also understood, intuitively, that close friendships in old age were a strong predictor of increased longevity and, yes, greater happiness,\u201d he writes.<\/p>\n

And here\u2019s the nut of it that speaks loudly to me. His younger friends have \u201chopes, dreams, and goals that my older friends just don\u2019t have the energy for,\u201d he continues.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the fountain of youth for certain.<\/p>\n

Another line of commentary Petrow doles out that I find timely is the importance of being gentle and compassionate with our aging parents. It\u2019s the suggestion that it\u2019s OK to lie sometimes.<\/p>\n

I know this one cold. My 91-year-old mom has dementia, and, at times, thinks she\u2019s in her early 20s and just graduating from college. This was a very happy time in her life. Instead of correcting her, which, of course, is a natural instinct, I\u2019ve learned to go along with her.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>As Petrow writes: \u201cYou don\u2019t make eyes to people around you. You don\u2019t snicker. You don\u2019t joke.\u201d<\/p>\n

He overcomes his \u201cnatural aversion to lying\u201d and is \u201crespectful of the \u2018other\u2019 realities in which my loved ones live,\u201d he writes. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t hurt anyone, and it helps them a lot to join them briefly in their imagined world. I hope others will visit me, too, should I take a similar trip.\u201d<\/p>\n

Agreed.<\/p>\n

Finally, in a chapter entitled: \u201cI Won\u2019t Stop Believing in Magic,\u201d Petrow emphasizes the joy of becoming a kid again. \u201cOr maybe it\u2019s more accurate to say I chose to look at the world through the eyes of a child,\u201d he writes. \u201cFor instance, growing up, I had sense of wonder that knew no bounds\u2026I believed in the unknown and the unknowable\u2014even the impossible. In time, I grew up, and became a \u2018bah humbug\u2019 kind of fellow\u2026Somewhere along the way I\u2019d lost my sense of wonder.\u201d<\/p>\n

For me, this one is fresh. My husband and I recently added a yellow Labrador puppy, Elly, to our home. And oh boy, has this reminded me of the sheer wonder of seeing a butterfly floating by for the first time, as she gleefully bounds toward it, or the tinkling sound of water dripping off a tin roof in a rainstorm, as she tilts her head in curiosity, or the beauty of simply getting down on the ground and playing along with her and a squeaky stuffed animal\u2026with abandon.<\/p>\n

Sheer delight. And, yes, laughter.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>By Kerry Hannon<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kerry Hannon<\/a>\u00a0is an expert and strategist on work and jobs, entrepreneurship, personal finance and retirement. Kerry is the author of more than a dozen books, including\u00a0Great Pajama Jobs: Your Com<\/a><\/em>plete Guide to Working From Home<\/a>,\u00a0Never Too Old To Get Rich: The Entrepreneurs Guide To Starting a Business Mid-Life<\/a>,\u00a0Great Jobs for Everyone 50+<\/a>, and\u00a0Money Confidence<\/a>. Follow her on Twitter\u00a0@kerryhannon<\/a><\/em>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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