{"id":8890,"date":"2021-09-06T06:24:04","date_gmt":"2021-09-06T10:24:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=8890"},"modified":"2021-09-06T06:31:13","modified_gmt":"2021-09-06T10:31:13","slug":"love-and-money","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=8890","title":{"rendered":"Love and Money"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Weddings and marriage are top of mind for me these days.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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A few weeks ago, my niece was married, and in late September, my nephew will also marry. Both weddings had been postponed from last year due to the pandemic. Another nephew just sent me a save the date for next spring.<\/p>\n

Celebrating love and family just feels so right now. I bet you feel the same way.<\/p>\n

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Wedding celebrations makes me smile. They make me hopeful, and, well, grateful, too.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a believer in the combined strengths of two tackling this world together. At my niece\u2019s wedding on a beautiful beach in New Jersey, my husband and I were asked to give a reading, and we chose the lyrics from a Bruce Springsteen song. \u201cIf I should Fall Behind.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n

On the Fourth of July, my husband and I celebrated our 29th<\/sup> wedding anniversary. And my sister and her husband, clocked in 40 years at the end of June.<\/p>\n

Couples and money<\/strong><\/p>\n

These joyful occasions, magical as they are, however, remind me of the critical role that money and financial communication play in the enduring strength of a marriage across the decades\u2013which at its core is a business relationship.<\/p>\n

I know that\u2019s unromantic, but it\u2019s true. And as a personal finance writer, I can\u2019t help myself.<\/p>\n

Read on MarketWatch<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Fidelity Investments released the results of its\u00a0 Couples & Money<\/a>\u00a0survey of 1,713 couples (3,426 individuals) conducted between March 25 and April 22, 2021. Respondents were required to be at least 25 years old, married or in a long-term committed relationship and living with their respective partner, and have a minimum household income of $75,000 or at least $100,000 in investible assets.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the scuttlebutt. Many couples, 1 in 5, say money is their greatest relationship challenge. That sounds about right.<\/p>\n

The average age of retirement among those who have already retired is 60.5 years, while the average expected age for those who had not yet retired is 62.5 years. Nearly half (48%) of all couples, interviewed, however, are not on the same page about the actual age they expect to retire.<\/p>\n

More than half differ about how much money they need to reach their retirement goals, but nearly 77% picture a comfortable retirement.<\/p>\n

And even though 7 in 10 (71%) of partners say they communicate at least very well with their other half\u2014almost 4 in 10 (39%) of respondents couldn\u2019t correctly identify how much their partner makes for a salary. About 6 in 10 (61%) couples say they discuss their finances at least monthly, a number that has astonishingly declined from 2018 (65%).<\/p>\n

As for their ideal retirement, the majority, 6 in 10 of all couples, plan to stay in their own state when they retire, a trend that has climbed progressively since 2015. Hmm\u2026so much for my column on\u00a0considering a move for retirement<\/a>?<\/p>\n

During retirement, the top goals are to spend time with family and friends, followed by relaxing at home and taking it easy. That\u2019s in line with some of the findings I wrote about in\u00a0this column<\/a>\u00a0that explored a new study \u201cThe Four Pillars of the New Retirement: What a Difference a Year Makes\u201d conducted by Edward Jones, the large investment and financial services advisory firm, in partnership with Age Wave, a think tank and consulting firm.<\/p>\n

As I read through the survey, I was reminded of some of the advice I often share with newly married couples, and of course, my niece and nephews.<\/p>\n

First, spend your money, when possible, on doing things together whether it\u2019s traveling or going to a concert or a play or a wonderful restaurant. Creating and gathering memories you share together lasts a lifetime. The intangible value multiplies as the years go by.<\/p>\n

Now for one of my favorite pieces of advice and perhaps the hardest for couples to do. Have routine money talks about your overall financial picture, your current snapshot, upcoming expenses, dreams that you have that may entail a cash outlay.<\/p>\n

And take the time at least annually to meet with a financial planner, who can holistically look at your accounts and help with rebalancing and considering possible new investments.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard to make yourself do this without this third party, trust me. It takes discipline. You and your spouse might be on target here, but I have found sitting down together with our planner\/adviser to be thought-provoking and assuring that we\u2019re doing OK.<\/p>\n

Teamwork is dream work<\/strong><\/p>\n

Finally, a successful marriage depends on teamwork.<\/p>\n

Money is power. When one person is carrying the financial weight of covering the mortgage and other fixed bills, for instance, there can be unstated resentment by the one paying the bills and a lurking feeling of guilt by the other. Try to talk about those feelings if they crop up.<\/p>\n

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\u201cThis study clearly shows couples who work together as a team to build a strong financial future are better equipped to handle whatever life hands them,\u201d said Stacey Watson, senior vice president of Life Event Planning at Fidelity. \u201cThat\u2019s why it is so important for newly-married couples to make it a habit from the start to engage openly in money discussions,\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u201cSet aside some time to work together to ensure you\u2019ve discussed important financial issues as a couple, and make sure you both have a strong grasp on where you stand financially and what more needs to be accomplished,\u201d Watson added. \u201cThose who learn to communicate well about finances early on are likely to be rewarded for the effort in the years to come.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Springsteen wrote: Now everyone dreams of love lasting and true<\/p>\n

Oh but you and I know what this world can do<\/p>\n

So let\u2019s make our steps clear that the other may see<\/p>\n

And I\u2019ll wait for you, and if I should fall behind wait for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

By Kerry Hannon<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Kerry Hannon<\/a>\u00a0is an expert and strategist on work and jobs, entrepreneurship, personal finance and retirement. Kerry is the author of more than a dozen books, including\u00a0Great Pajama Jobs: Your Complete Guide to Working From Home<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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About the Author<\/span><\/h3>\n<\/header>\n
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Kerry Hannon<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Kerry Hannon is\u00a0a leading expert and strategist on work and jobs, entrepreneurship, personal finance and retirement. Kerry is the author of more than a dozen books, including “Never Too Old to Get Rich,” “Great Jobs for Everyone 50+,” and “Great Pajama Jobs: Your Complete Guide to Working From Home.” Follow her on Twitter @kerryhannon.<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n\n\n

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