{"id":8066,"date":"2020-01-19T10:31:37","date_gmt":"2020-01-19T14:31:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=8066"},"modified":"2020-01-19T10:39:34","modified_gmt":"2020-01-19T14:39:34","slug":"5-great-tips-to-ease-family-inheritance-tensions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=8066","title":{"rendered":"5 Great Tips to Ease Family Inheritance Tensions"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><\/div>\n<section class=\"meteredContent css-1r7ky0e\">\n<div class=\"css-1fanzo5 StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-exrw3m evys1bk0\"><a href=\"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?attachment_id=6898\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-6898\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"6898\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?attachment_id=6898\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/download.png?fit=240%2C210&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"240,210\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"download\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/download.png?fit=240%2C210&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/download.png?fit=240%2C210&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-6898 size-thumbnail\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/download.png?resize=150%2C150&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a>Discussions with siblings about money-related issues can be fraught. Here are some tips from wealth coaches and financial advisers on how to tackle some of the potential obstacles.<\/p>\n<h2><\/h2>\n<h2 id=\"link-5fcc89c4\" class=\"css-1320w4z eoo0vm40\">Siblings<\/h2>\n<p class=\"css-1320w4z eoo0vm40\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Focus on your common interest.<\/strong>\u00a0You may share more than you realize, said\u00a0<a class=\"css-1g7m0tk\" title=\"\" href=\"http:\/\/jamesgrubman.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">James Grubman,<\/a>\u00a0a psychologist and founder of FamilyWealth Consulting. \u201cThe sibling relationship is the longest-running one in our lives,\u201d he said. \u201cSo you have to remain focused on the fact that repairing and preserving the sibling relationship is an interest that is part of the communication.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-exrw3m evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Set up family conversations.\u00a0<\/strong>Hire a financial adviser or other professional to mediate and facilitate these talks, Mr. Grubman said. If the issue is a particularly combative one, appointing an unbiased person to run the show can help keep conversations on track. This approach also allows an adviser to listen to and recognize all the sibling viewpoints, and potentially create a broad plan that tackles everyone\u2019s concerns.<\/p>\n<p>Read here<strong>:<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2019\/11\/06\/your-money\/tips-to-ease-family-inheritance-tensions.html\"> The New York Times<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"story-ad-1-wrapper\" class=\"css-1r07izm\">\n<div id=\"after-story-ad-1\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Listen, listen, listen. <\/strong>Respect your sibling(s). \u201cThe lens you view your world in is different than your sibling,\u201d said\u00a0Thomas Lloyd, a certified financial planner and wealth adviser\u00a0at\u00a0<a class=\"css-1g7m0tk\" title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/hemingtonwm.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Hemington Wealth Management<\/a>. \u201cAsk how they are feeling. That is the most important question. Avoid being judgmental. Don\u2019t interrupt. Keep the communication lines open-ended.\u201d<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<div><\/div>\n<h2>Parents<\/h2>\n<div class=\"css-1fanzo5 StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-1320w4z eoo0vm40\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Avoid picking one sibling over another to be a trustee or executor<\/strong>. \u201cI don\u2019t recommend placing one sibling over another as trustee,\u201d Mr. Grubman said. \u201cYou are confusing the sibling relationship with a financial relationship.\u201d It can be helpful to choose an independent or corporate trustee and make the more financially capable sibling the trust adviser, or protector, who can provide advice\u00a0but not make the ultimate decision, he said. \u201cThat gives everyone a little more arm\u2019s-length relationship. At the heart of it is the power and control.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-exrw3m evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Talk to your children about money.<\/strong>\u00a0An inheritance is a real source of friction among siblings, said\u00a0Amy Castoro, a family wealth coach and president and chief executive of\u00a0<a class=\"css-1g7m0tk\" title=\"\" href=\"http:\/\/www.thewilliamsgroup.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">the Williams Group<\/a>. \u201cThe lack of clarity of how they were going to share in the wealth, how it was going to be divided, and an inability to talk about expectations can cause increasing tension,\u201d she said. If you as parents aren\u2019t comfortable talking about inheritances, Mr. Grubman said, write down your motivation for your decisions as a companion document to a will.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_7907\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-7907\" style=\"width: 150px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?attachment_id=7907\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7907\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"7907\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?attachment_id=7907\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/ME.jpg?fit=960%2C960&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"960,960\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"ME\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Kerry Hannon, photo by Photopia, Elizabeth Dranitzke&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/ME.jpg?fit=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/ME.jpg?fit=640%2C640&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-7907 size-thumbnail\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/ME.jpg?resize=150%2C150&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/ME.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/ME.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/ME.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/ME.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/ME.jpg?w=960&amp;ssl=1 960w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-7907\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kerry Hannon, photo by Photopia, Elizabeth Dranitzke<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>By\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\"><span class=\"css-1baulvz last-byline\">Kerry Hannon<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-small.png?w=640&#038;ssl=1\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top:5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\",\"Pinterest\",\"Linkedin\",\"StumbleUpon\",\"Digg\",\"Reddit\",\"Bebo\",\"Delicious\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"small\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"5 Great Tips to Ease Family Inheritance Tensions\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cThe sibling relationship is the longest-running one in our lives,\u201d James Grubman, founder of FamilyWealth Consulting said. \u201cSo you have to remain focused on the fact that repairing and preserving the sibling relationship is an interest that is part of the communication.\u201d<\/p>\n<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-small.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top:5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\",\"Pinterest\",\"Linkedin\",\"StumbleUpon\",\"Digg\",\"Reddit\",\"Bebo\",\"Delicious\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"small\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"5 Great Tips to Ease Family Inheritance Tensions\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6898,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29,41,237],"tags":[343,532,267],"class_list":["post-8066","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-finances","category-inheretance","category-retirement-2","tag-inheretance","tag-siblings","tag-wealth"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kerryhannon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/download.png?fit=240%2C210&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3YFQS-266","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8066","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8066"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8066\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8081,"href":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8066\/revisions\/8081"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6898"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8066"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8066"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8066"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}