{"id":6630,"date":"2017-11-26T10:11:20","date_gmt":"2017-11-26T14:11:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=6630"},"modified":"2017-11-26T10:11:20","modified_gmt":"2017-11-26T14:11:20","slug":"the-psychology-of-wealth-how-much-is-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=6630","title":{"rendered":"The Psychology of Wealth: How Much is Enough?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"\"<\/a>Thomas Gallagher, 72, is a multimillionaire, but he is still nervous about money. \u201cI have more money than I had ever imagined, but I still worry \u2014 do I have enough, if I live longer than I thought?\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n<\/header>\n
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When Thomas Gallagher was 17, he worked as a clerk on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange and put $10 a week into an account at Irving Bank. \u201cThat was my discipline, my savings,\u201d Mr. Gallagher said. \u201cBack then, the goal was to have enough money to buy Christmas presents.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mr. Gallagher, who is retired from his position as vice chairman of Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce World Markets, is a member of\u00a0Tiger 21<\/a>, a network of over 570 members who collectively manage more than $50 billion worth of personal investable assets.<\/p>\n

At age 72, he is a multimillionaire. Even so, \u201cI still feel, to some extent, that I don\u2019t have enough money,\u201d he said. \u201cEmotionally, I don\u2019t come from money; I got very lucky on Wall Street. I\u2019ve been dealing with a myriad of psychological issues since I retired. I have more money than I had ever imagined, but I still worry \u2014 do I have enough, if I live longer than I thought?\u201d<\/p>\n

Read on The New York Times<\/a><\/p>\n

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Olivia Mellan<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The psychology of wealth is knotty. On the surface, being wealthy can make people believe they have more control over their lives, but it can also control them emotionally, said\u00a0Olivia Mellan<\/a>, a psychotherapist in Washington who specializes in money issues and is the author of \u201cMoney Harmony: A Road Map for Individuals and Couples.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf someone doesn\u2019t have that money growing up, it\u2019s like being shot through with too much energy,\u201d she said. \u201cThere\u2019s this undercurrent that money equals love, power, security, control, self-worth, self-love, freedom, self-esteem \u2014 all those loaded things that money supposedly can do, but doesn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Wealth frequently comes with a bundle of expectations \u2014 anxiety and pressure to make smart money decisions, for example, about how it is managed, spent, passed on to future generations, or used to create a legacy.<\/p>\n

There is a degree of fear. \u201cPeople are afraid of the money, how it might corrupt them, or make them insensitive to other people\u2019s plights,\u201d Ms. Mellan said. \u201cThey worry about their kids having so much money thrown at them that they will not be motivated to work for money and have a meaningful life.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Eric Bailey; Photo courtesy of Bailey Wealth Advisors<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Eric D. Bailey, founder and chief executive of Bailey Wealth Advisors <\/a>in Silver Spring, Md., said possessing wealth was an uneasy feeling for many of his clients, a combination of business owners and mid- and upper-level executives whose average net worth is $3 million to $15 million. \u201cThey don\u2019t take it for granted,\u201d he said. \u201cThey never do feel they have enough. It takes some coaxing to get them to\u00a0spend<\/em>\u00a0money.\u201d<\/p>\n

He said he helped them understand that under any combination of scenarios, the odds were very low that they would outlive their money.<\/p>\n

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What many people who become wealthy are not prepared for is the emotional difficulty of dealing with money, said\u00a0James Grubman<\/a>, a psychologist and founder of FamilyWealth Consulting. \u201cFor more people than you would think, the adjustment to having money is quite stressful,\u201d Mr. Grubman said. \u201cNo one gets a lot of empathy talking about these things.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

This is easy to understand if you think about the stereotypes that society generally has about the rich, he added. \u201cIf you grow up hearing money messages like rich people only care about themselves or other negative beliefs about the wealthy and then you become wealthy yourself, how are you going to reconcile what you believed about those people with the fact that now you are one of them?\u201d<\/p>\n

Another worry is that if you are rich, you have a target on your back, and people are always going to hit you up for loans and gifts. There is the security and the stability and the success that wealth represents, but people just do not want the identity and the downside of what they associate with being rich, he said.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>One way to combat the apprehension about wealth is financial education. \u201cThe anxiety that comes with having acquired wealth is alleviated by having the confidence you can learn what you need to learn,\u201d said Charlotte Beyer, author of \u201cWealth Management Unwrapped Revised and Expanded: Unwrap What You Need to Know and Enjoy the Present<\/a>\u201d and founder of the\u00a0Institute for Private Investors<\/a>, a provider of educational and networking resources for ultrahigh net worth investors and the nonprofit\u00a0Principle Quest Foundation<\/a>, which supports education and mentoring for girls and women.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou need to decide what do I want this money to do?\u201d Ms. Beyer said. \u201cHow you spend your money is the ultimate representation of your values, and you should do it with joy and fun and love.\u201d<\/p>\n

Inherited wealth comes with some different worries.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Susan Remmer Ryzewic, 66, came into a fortune after her father died and his engineering business was sold for $100 million. \u201cThe biggest anxieties were working out the differences with my siblings on how the family wanted the money invested and what they felt the money should represent,\u201d she said. \u201cIf you don\u2019t manage the emotional and family aspects, the money doesn\u2019t matter.\u201d<\/p>\n

When the family\u2019s fortune landed, it was overwhelming. \u201cWe found we couldn\u2019t move forward initially because we were all so concerned about our own agenda that we were not really listening to each other,\u201d Ms. Remmer Ryzewic said. \u201cIt took awhile for us to be speaking the same language.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ms. Remmer Ryzewic, her brother and two sisters spent a lot of time in the first few years getting educated. She took a number of courses on fixed income investments and aspects of portfolio management so she could be a reasonably informed consumer.<\/p>\n

And there is that nagging feeling of being taken advantage of. \u201cIn the beginning you are thinking all these people are so wonderful and nice and then you realize everybody wants a piece of something,\u201d Ms. Remmer Ryzewic said. \u201cYou get sort of cynical. And I started feeling I was being defined by it. Now I just feel so fortunate that it provides me with choices. Initially, it was way more responsibility; now I am comfortable with the responsibility.\u201d<\/p>\n

One highlight of their good fortune: Ms. Remmer Ryzewic, her sisters and mother, who is now deceased, set up\u00a0The Remmer Family Foundation<\/a>, a private charitable foundation, with some of the proceeds. One of the foundation\u2019s goals is to reduce poverty for women and youth by helping disadvantaged adolescent and preadolescent girls take ownership of their lives. The foundation also encourages environmental stewardship by improving the sustainability of the world\u2019s fisheries.<\/p>\n

Acquiring wealth from the sale of an entrepreneurial venture has its own set of mental gymnastics.<\/p>\n

\u201cFirst generation wealth creators who sell their business and now are investing their wealth and dealing with their wealth are different than second generation, or someone who got it by the lottery,\u201d said Michael Sonnenfeldt, founder and chairman of Tiger 21, and author of \u201cThink Bigger: And 39 Other Winning Strategies From Successful Entrepreneurs.<\/a>\u201d\u00a0<\/a>They have finally made it from modest beginnings and are now in a brave new world, he added.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re in their sweet spot, and then they sell their business and they\u2019re adrift,\u201d Mr. Sonnenfeldt said. It is like jumping through the looking glass, he said. You are going back to square one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then too, for many entrepreneurs, they spent a lifetime reaching just beyond their grasp, always reaching for the next goal, he said. \u201cIt\u2019s a really lucky person who can say I have enough. I am comfortable with what I have.\u201d<\/p>\n

By\u00a0KERRY HANNON<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n