{"id":4776,"date":"2015-07-26T06:22:54","date_gmt":"2015-07-26T10:22:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=4776"},"modified":"2015-07-26T06:39:49","modified_gmt":"2015-07-26T10:39:49","slug":"how-women-can-get-what-they-want-at-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=4776","title":{"rendered":"How Women Can Get What They Want at Work"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\"next-ave\"<\/a>I\u2019ve been on a soapbox talking about ways people can be more engaged in their jobs, and, in fact, love<\/em> them, ever since my book, Love Your Job: The New Rules for Career Happiness<\/a><\/em> was published this spring.<\/p>\n

So a recent study<\/a> by Gallup made me smile. It said: \u201cFemale managers are more engaged than their male counterparts in their jobs, and companies should hire and promote more female managers.\u201d<\/p>\n

But the bad news is that for many professional women, landing a management position is a slippery slope. Women who\u2019ve been in the workplace for decades often bump up against the door to top management for a variety of reasons, which I will get to in a minute.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll also offer some solutions being taught at The Carnegie Mellon Leadership and Negotiation Academy for Women <\/a>in Pittsburgh, headed up by Leanne Meyer. When the program, now in its third year, kicks off in September, it will be a joint effort of The Tepper School of Business and the Heinz College of Public Policy.<\/p>\n

Women tend to sit in a corner and wait for someone to recognize their good works and promote them.<\/p>\n

\"Leeane<\/a>
Negotiation expert Leeane Meyer<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The goal of the program is to develop \u201cexceptional female talent.\u201d Twenty-five women age 35 to 60 spend two days a month for six months at Carnegie Mellon. The time in between on-site sessions is spent working one-on-one with an executive career coach provided by the academy on the women\u2019s specific goals.<\/p>\n

In the past, Meyer said, most of the women would \u201cpay it forward\u201d by taking what they\u2019d learned back to their workplaces and training other women there accordingly. That\u2019s likely to happen again.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe program focuses on accelerating women\u2019s careers,\u201d Meyer told me. \u201cThe numbers are appalling. Women are in middle management positions, but not making the leap into senior levels at many corporations.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tuition for attendees is dear at $14,900, but the women\u2019s employers typically pick up the tab.<\/p>\n

MORE:\u00a0<\/span>The No. 1 Way Women Can Succeed More at Work<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019m cheered by the very existence of this program and also by the findings of that Gallup report, which said employees who work for a female manager are six percentage points more engaged, on average, than those who work for a male manager. However, only one in three working Americans currently has a female boss.<\/p>\n

I want to believe that armed with the right negotiating skills, more women will persuade their bosses to make them upper-level managers and \u2014 even better \u2014more employees will then find more satisfaction in their jobs.<\/p>\n

I asked Meyer to share some of the advice and insights the women who enroll in her program receive. That turned into nine points:<\/p>\n

1. Remember: You\u2019re not alone.<\/strong> Women who\u2019ve been in senior positions for a while often feel isolated; they\u2019re typically the only woman in the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen we bring them together, they are blown away by the support of other women,\u201d Meyer says. \u201cThe women realize that other women are struggling with these things, and they\u2019re not just in your mind and not because you are deficient in some way. Women are very surprised by the camaraderie that\u2019s formed. It helps them regain a strong sense of self and the value they bring to their organizations. You can be worn down in organizations and you forget that.\u201d<\/p>\n

2. Don\u2019t be shy about negotiating for your own interests.\u00a0<\/strong> \u201cWomen absolutely experience a backlash when they negotiate on behalf of themselves,\u201d says Meyer. \u201cIt\u2019s fine for women to negotiate on behalf of others. We play into the stereotype of the protective mother bear; we\u2019re protecting our team or our subordinates. There is no penalization for a woman if she comes on assertively and negotiates for others.\u201d<\/p>\n

But, Meyer says, when a woman negotiates just as hard for herself, she can run into problems. To be effective negotiating for self-interest, she advises, you need to stay calm and not get aggressive.<\/p>\n

MORE:\u00a0<\/span>What Works for Women at Work Today<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

3. Provide a legitimate explanation for your negotiation.<\/strong> \u201cYou can\u2019t just ask,\u201d says Meyer. \u201cA woman has to justify what she is asking for, end of story. You need to say, for instance, \u2018I think I need a salary raise because if you look at all of the positions in my grade, and you look at the revenues I have generated, and look at the goals I have achieved\u2026\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

4. Expect backlash<\/strong>. Women negotiating for themselves frequently encounter backlash from men and women, says Meyer. \u201cResearch shows that men and women equally respond badly to women who negotiate for themselves. We always think this is men discriminating, but it is women as well. The problem is: When we don\u2019t ask, our careers stall.\u201d<\/p>\n

5. You need to toot your horn to get what you want. <\/strong>And it\u2019s not just about pay. \u201cSalary is a once-a-year thing that doesn\u2019t necessarily propel your career,\u201d says Meyer. She says women must negotiate their own promotions.\u201d<\/p>\n

6. Raise your hand more. <\/strong>\u201cLook for very visible stretch assignments,\u201d says Meyer. \u201cMen ask for those assignments four times more than we do.\u201d And, she adds, women need to keep showing they are achievement oriented. \u201cWaiting puts you out of the game,\u201d notes Meyer.<\/p>\n

7. Look for a sponsor, not a mentor. <\/strong>That\u2019s a key principle of Sylvia Ann Hewlett, an economist and author of Forget a Mentor, Find a Sponsor<\/a>. \u201cMentoring relationships have a very patriarchal feeling that\u2019s not empowering,\u201d says Meyer. \u201cAsk to work with people who you know who could see your work and choose to sponsor you. They\u2019re developing you because they think you are great and can pull you up. But they need exposure to you. You need to ask to work with those high-fliers or those specific people who could be your sponsor.\u201d<\/p>\n

8. Ask for training that can propel you. <\/strong>\u201cSenior women don\u2019t feel worthy of asking for personal development courses that can help their careers,\u201d says Meyer. But, she notes, their managers are often impressed that the women want to keep learning and learn to work differently.<\/p>\n

9. Make asking a habit. <\/strong>At the Academy, students are given an ask task for their work and personal lives every month as an exercise for the \u201cNegotiating Gym.\u201d Says Meyer: \u201cWe give them a negotiation instruction, starting easy and working up to powerful. It\u2019s the same idea as a gym, you go in and work your little muscles and get bigger each time. First, you ask for silly things. Then ask for something that you want that is not that important. If you don\u2019t get it, it\u2019s fine. Next, think of something you want, but ask for double. So if you want a one-day leave you had not been granted, ask for two.\u201d<\/p>\n

The women learn to have fun with negotiation and are surprised that when they ask, although they might not get what they are looking for, they\u2019ll often get something else, says Meyer.<\/p>\n

The goal is to train women to ask for more and to make asking a habit. \u201cWe find women tend to under-ask by 30 percent,\u201d she says. \u201cYou want learning to ask to be a natural instead of thinking everything is a horrible negotiation that you want to avoid.\u201d<\/p>\n

Click here to\u00a0Read this article on PBS Next Avenue<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\"KerryBy Kerry Hannon<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Kerry Hannon has covered personal finance for Forbes, Money, U.S. News & World Report and USA Today for nearly three decades. She is the author of Love Your Job: The New Rules for Career Happiness<\/a><\/em>; What\u2019s Next? Follow Your Passion and Find Your Dream Job<\/a>; Great Jobs for Everyone 50+<\/a> and Suddenly Single: Money Skills for Divorcees and Widows<\/em><\/a>. Her website is kerryhannon.com<\/a>. Follow her on Twitter @kerryhannon<\/a><\/p>\n

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