{"id":4084,"date":"2014-09-27T05:59:23","date_gmt":"2014-09-27T09:59:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=4084"},"modified":"2014-09-27T06:06:15","modified_gmt":"2014-09-27T10:06:15","slug":"kerrys-expert-advice-us-news-world-report-midlife-bliss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=4084","title":{"rendered":"Kerry’s Expert Advice, US News & World Report: ‘Midlife Bliss’"},"content":{"rendered":"

John Friary was always a good science and math student. Throughout his childhood and adolescence, he thought about going into medicine, but working with sick people seemed too stressful, so he became a biostatistician instead. That was a good fit \u2013 for a while. His math skills were put to the test, and he felt like he was helping the community at large.<\/p>\n

But once Friary was well into his 30s, the now 44-year-old started craving the precise type of contact with patients that he had avoided at a younger age. \u201cThings were coming together in my life where I was better equipped to handle the emotional stress,\u201d Friary says. Friends of his had gone to medical school, and he\u2019d had some experience working with animals at a veterinary school. So when Friary applied to medical school at age 40, he had some idea of what he was getting himself into<\/p>\n

Was it a midlife crisis that prompted Friary\u2019s leap of faith into the career he\u2019d book-shelved? Not really, he says. Instead, he describes the transition as the coming together of his life goals and the realization of an\u00a0inner growth spurt<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted more direct contact with people,\u201d he says. \u201cI wanted to help as many people as much as I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0Friary\u2019s story is not unusual in at least one sense:\u00a0People pursuing second careers<\/a>\u00a0around midlife tend to seek more altruistic pursuits.<\/div>\n

\u201cWe start to see the world shift,\u201d says Kerry Hannon, a District of Columbia-based journalist and author and an expert in career transitions.<\/strong> \u201cIt\u2019s not just about your personal happiness but [it becomes about] giving back.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read Full Article on US News & World Report<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Some people have faced personal losses and are confronting their own mortality and making changes based on that, too, Hannon<\/strong> adds.<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m 53 and all of a sudden, my friends are getting cancer. This used to happen to my parents\u2019 friends,\u201d she says. \u201cIt makes us do an MRI of ourselves. You say to yourself, \u2018I want to get out of bed to really do something.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Turning a Rut Into Joy: Midlife Bliss<\/b><\/p>\n

For many people, this turning point does start from a real feeling of crisis. Inertia sets in at the workplace, and you\u2019re fired from your job, or you lose it, or your marriage falls apart. Whatever the case, some trigger of loss usually leads you down a path of renewal. \u201cOnce you hit that point, there\u2019s a sense of excitement,\u201d Hannon says.<\/strong> \u201cYou think, \u2018I\u2019m only 58, but I could do something else for the next 15\u00a0to\u00a020 years. [My job] doesn\u2019t have to be just a placeholder. I can really dig my teeth into it.’\u201d<\/p>\n

Friary, who is now in his first year of medical school at the University of Florida, also thought that rather than stay a research scientist, \u201cI\u2019d rather be a doctor for 25 years.\u201d That he is studying with people whose medical careers will span twice his own does not bother him. In fact, with age comes a certain wisdom that is turning out to be useful, Friary says. \u201cThe professors encourage us to try everything. But at 44, I know that I don\u2019t want to be in the ER or perform surgery.\u201d He intends to pursue endocrinology and expects to start practicing medicine around age 50.<\/p>\n

Saskia Jennings, a midlife coach and motivational speaker based in Canada, coined the term \u201cmidlife bliss\u201d to describe her own process of getting back to the bliss she knew as a child. \u201cI grew up in a very positive family, but I lost it all,\u201d Jennings says. At age 40, the Dutch native lost her job in the Netherlands, then moved to Canada and married a man whom she divorced a few years later. \u201cI knew that I was totally neglecting myself,\u201d she says. \u201cI found myself in a big black hole. On Jan. 1, I said, \u2018What is this? Let\u2019s get back to bliss.\u2019\u201d That was a few years ago, and she has since expanded her coaching business to focus on helping women out of their midlife ruts and get on track for positive change.<\/p>\n

She focuses on women, not only because she can most relate to them, but also because they tend to neglect themselves, she says. \u201cWomen rarely put themselves first. We never take the time to discover who we are.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat I hear often is, \u2018I don\u2019t have the time or money.’ There\u2019s such an underlying fear of change, but the magic happens when you are pushed outside your comfort zone,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Jennings has helped facilitate that process for hundreds of women. Women start businesses, go back to school or leave unhealthy relationships. Whatever the outcome, what ultimately changes is their own view of themselves, she says, and that is the catalyst for other changes: \u201cTheir confidence goes up, and they trust in themselves,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Tips for Embracing Midlife Change<\/b><\/p>\n

The dictionary definition of midlife crisis is \u201cemotional turmoil characterized by a strong desire for change.\u201d<\/p>\n

When it strikes is unpredictable, but traditionally around age 40 or 45, give or take a few years. But the \u201ccrisis\u201d doesn\u2019t have to linger; it can be the momentary jumping off point for a more fulfilling life. Hannon says there are some things that people, job-changers especially, can do to better prepare themselves to have a happy transition.<\/strong><\/p>\n