{"id":4032,"date":"2014-08-24T06:08:58","date_gmt":"2014-08-24T10:08:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=4032"},"modified":"2014-08-24T06:12:00","modified_gmt":"2014-08-24T10:12:00","slug":"the-new-york-times-column-finding-an-identity-beyond-the-workplace","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=4032","title":{"rendered":"The New York Times: Column: Finding an Identity Beyond the Workplace"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"the-new-york-times<\/a>WHEN Guy Johnson retired from his tax management position at Unilever, one of the world\u2019s largest consumer products companies, he was sure that he was prepared. But he was fooling himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cI lost myself when my wife, Barbara, and I moved to Sarasota, Fla., from Bergen County, N.J.,\u201d Mr. Johnson said. \u201cI planned my retirement financially, but I didn\u2019t plan it otherwise.\u201d<\/p>\n

This summer, through weekly sessions with a retirement coach,\u00a0Debbie Drinkard Grovum<\/a>, the 68-year-old is working hard \u201cto accomplish the goals in life that I\u2019ve been putting off since I retired 10 years ago. She keeps me motivated.\u201d<\/p>\n

Retirement coaches like Ms. Grovum are popular these days. The cadre has emerged in the crowded coaching field to cater to a growing number of boomers who are grappling with what\u2019s next.<\/p>\n

READ KERRY’S \u00a0“RETIRING” COLUMN ON THE NEW YORK TIMES HERE<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cRetirement is clearly no longer the destination that it used to be,\u201d said\u00a0Dorian Mintzer,<\/a>\u00a0a retirement coach and co-author of\u00a0\u201cThe Couple\u2019s Retirement Puzzle: 10 Must-Have Conversations for Creating an Amazing New Life Together<\/a>.\u201d \u201cNow, the likelihood is, you have 20, 30, maybe 40 more years ahead of you, and that\u2019s a long time to not know what you want to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

New Directions<\/a>, a coaching firm based in Boston, for instance, mainly focuses on coaching senior executives during their salaried years. But in the last five years, the number of people receiving retirement coaching at the company has probably tripled, Samuel C. Pease, a managing director and senior consultant at the firm, estimated.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen someone retires, they tend to be literally levitating with excess productivity that can\u2019t be channeled,\u201d Mr. Pease said. \u201cWe help them slowly build a basket of activities.\u201d<\/p>\n

These undertakings can include part-time work, humanitarian endeavors, entrepreneurial adventures and artistic pursuits, and there\u2019s usually a search for legacy and significance, he said. \u201cThe vast majority of our clients have some kind of \u2018give back\u2019 gene. They want to get involved with a charitable board, or find ways to be a teacher or tutor.\u201d<\/p>\n

The retirement coaching process usually starts with a self-assessment that examines values and strengths and clarifies goals, hopes and dreams for the future.<\/p>\n

Retirees answer hard questions: \u201cDo you need to have work be part of it?\u201d Ms. Mintzer said. \u201cIf you\u2019re in a couple, are you in sync in terms of retiring, or not working?\u201d It\u2019s not unusual for women, who may be younger than their spouses or have stepped out of the work force for a time, to be at career peak while the partner is winding down, she said.<\/p>\n

Pre-retirees are urged to run the numbers through retirement calculators to be sure they won\u2019t outlive their savings. But it\u2019s far harder to compute in advance how to best navigate the intangibles like building a new social network and finding value in how you spend your time in retirement. (Generally speaking, retirement coaches do not tackle financial planning, but do help clients identify their values about money.)<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve definitely seen an upsurge in preplanning for people who want to think ahead and figure out what is it I want to do, how do I want to live my life, who will I be if I\u2019m not working,\u201d Ms. Mintzer said.<\/p>\n

Esther H. Bay, a clinical associate professor at the University of Michigan School of Nursing, started working with Ms. Mintzer about four years ago when she needed career coaching. Today, the 61-year-old resident of Howell, Mich., is not quite ready to retire, but she thinks about it every day.<\/p>\n

She and Ms. Mintzer, who lives in Boston, discuss Ms. Bay\u2019s future during monthly telephone sessions. For example, how she could serve on different boards in health care organizations and use her professional nursing expertise by volunteering in free medical clinics.<\/p>\n

In the meantime, Ms. Bay and her husband, Bruce, who has already retired, have a list of places that they might want to retire to. Ms. Mintzer has encouraged the couple to start visiting them now, so when Ms. Bay does throw in her hat in three or four years, the couple will be ready to take the next step.<\/p>\n

Another segment of people who seek a retirement coach are those like Mr. Johnson, who retired without much of a plan and after a year, or two, or 10, have determined that the situation is not working for them, Ms. Grovum said. \u201cThey want to rethink their life.\u201d<\/p>\n

These retirees realize that something is missing, and they\u2019ve spiraled into depression or anxiety, Ms. Mintzer said. That\u2019s what happened to Wendy Fox, 66, when she retired after a more than 35-year career as a journalist and media liaison. \u201cThe retirement thing sounded great before I did it,\u201d said Ms. Fox, who lives in Milton, Mass., and whose husband, Al Larkin, was already retired. \u201cThe first year was wonderful. Then I realized that I missed the newsroom community. I\u2019m an extrovert.\u201d<\/p>\n

In June, she began working with Ms. Mintzer. \u201cI was basically acknowledging that I was incapable of figuring out the rest of my life,\u201d Ms. Fox said. \u201cOne of the first things she told me is \u2018you are not alone.\u2019 That was huge. I\u2019m not crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n

For Ms. Fox, her goals are to find new, continuing social connections, \u201cto have some purpose in life and not just take up space for the next 20 years,\u201d she said. \u201cI didn\u2019t need a therapist, I just wanted to talk to someone about what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ms. Mintzer has emboldened her to find new activities \u2014 in addition to deepening her existing volunteer duties \u2014 like joining or starting an activity group, taking regular hiking treks, or asking fellow dog lovers for dates to walk with her and Lucy, her chocolate Labrador retriever.<\/p>\n

Mr. Johnson\u2019s challenge also is chiefly a social one. When he was working at Unilever, he had a routine and a very active life. But when he relocated to Florida, it vanished. \u201cI was in trouble,\u201d said Mr. Johnson. \u201cI was spending too much time in the house watching the stock market and not getting out and meeting people.\u201d<\/p>\n

One change he has already made: reconnecting with bowling, one of his passions. \u201cI was an avid bowler up North,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd I made a lot of friends as a member of the Unilever\u2019s company bowling team.\u201d He\u2019s now practicing at the lanes near his home twice a week preparation for joining a league.<\/p>\n

He continues to dabble in work-related activities. After he retired, he took a course to earn the certification of\u00a0enrolled agent<\/a>\u00a0for the I.R.S. and works part time at H & R Block to prepare individual tax returns. He also volunteers for AARP Foundation\u2019s free\u00a0Tax-Aide<\/a>\u00a0service.<\/p>\n

\u201cI told Debbie to be harsh and make me accountable,\u201d Mr. Johnson said. \u201cI want to get this stuff done now.\u201d<\/p>\n

The cost and length of coaching sessions vary. At the top end, many of New Directions executive clients start coaching sessions 18 months before retirement. The package costs from $30,000 to $50,000, depending on the number of meetings with a personal coach over a particular time period. It includes a questionnaire to analyze the client\u2019s personality, meetings with additional coaches \u2014 for different viewpoints \u2014 and a psychologist, plus access to regular skill-building workshops, networking opportunities and more.<\/p>\n

Independent coaches, like Ms. Grovum and Ms. Mintzer, typically meet with clients for 30 minutes to an hour, weekly or biweekly, by phone, Skype or in person. Coaching rates range from $50 an hour to more than $250 an hour. Many coaches will offer a free initial session to determine whether the relationship is a good fit.<\/p>\n

Career coaching is a self-regulated industry. Many coaches have been doing it for years without adding professional designations.\u00a0The International Coach Federation<\/a>\u00a0awards a global credential. These coaches have met educational requirements, received specific coach training, and achieved a certain number of experience hours. Many people find coaches by word of mouth from friends and colleagues, or have met one through workshops offered at community colleges.\u00a0The Life Planning Network<\/a>\u00a0also offers a list of retirement coaches.<\/p>\n

For someone working with a retirement coach, the No. 1 thing is having an open mind. \u201cThis is a fresh track adventure,\u201d Mr. Pease, of New Directions, said. \u201cBe patient. For the first time in your life, you need to be able to deal with white space. People get addicted to busyness. White space is the source of creativity and strategic thinking, so don\u2019t fill up your dance card too fast.\u201d<\/p>\n

By\u00a0<\/span>KERRY HANNON<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

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