{"id":3551,"date":"2014-01-30T16:41:01","date_gmt":"2014-01-30T20:41:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=3551"},"modified":"2014-01-30T16:41:01","modified_gmt":"2014-01-30T20:41:01","slug":"what-works-for-women-at-work-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=3551","title":{"rendered":"What Works for Women at Work Today"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Williams.Dempsey.AuthorPhoto\"<\/a>
Authors Rachel Dempsey and Joan WIlliams<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A question for women: Have you ever felt like disco dancing to keep yourself \u201cbalanced and sane\u201d when feeling frustrated by your job?<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what one of the 127 professional women interviewed for the new book,\u00a0What Works for Women at Work<\/a>,<\/em>\u00a0said she does.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s my way of moving my body and not caring what people think of me,\u201d she told the mother-daughter authors, Joan C. Williams and Rachel Dempsey.<\/p>\n

Ahh, if dealing with the workplace issues that women often face were so simple.<\/p>\n

The Rules for Women<\/strong><\/p>\n

In their compelling new book, Williams (Distinguished Professor and Director of the Center for WorkLife Law at the University of California, Hastings College of Law) and Dempsey (a student at Yale Law School who blogs for\u00a0Huffington Post<\/em>\u00a0on women\u2019s issues) spell out the two sets of rules, higher standards and closed doors that many women encounter on the job these days.<\/p>\n

(MORE<\/strong>:\u00a0How Women Should Plot Their Careers After 50<\/a>)<\/p>\n

I just chatted with them to get their dual-generational insights from their interviews and the strategies they recommend that women adopt to succeed in today\u2019s workplace.<\/p>\n

(Read article on PBS Next Avenue here.)<\/a><\/p>\n

The book\u2019s core message: \u201cIt\u2019s time for women to stop judging each other about what they believe to be the\u00a0right<\/em>\u00a0way to be a woman,\u201d Williams wrote. \u201cIn workplaces still dominated by men all women make compromises.\u201d<\/p>\n

The “Tug of War” Among Women<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Williams.Jacket\"<\/a>At 53, I found myself nodding my head as I identified with the\u00a0gender skirmishes between women<\/a>\u00a0in the workplace, described in the book as the \u201ctug of war.\u201d I still find that rivalry lingers below the surface in the workplaces I\u2019m connected with, and, surprisingly, even among the cadre of female freelancers I run alongside.<\/p>\n

(MORE<\/strong>:\u00a0What It Takes to Become a ‘Woman of Influence’<\/a>)<\/p>\n

And those feelings of always having to make things work in a man\u2019s world \u2014 which I felt back in the \u201880s during my first full-time job, at Forbes \u2014 have not vanished for women working in offices in 2014.<\/p>\n

The authors also describe two types of gender bias you may recognize: \u201cProve-It-Again!\u201d \u2014 where women are forced to prove their competence over and over, while men get the benefit the doubt. And \u201cThe Tightrope\u201d \u2014 where women risk being written off as \u201ctoo feminine\u201d when they\u2019re agreeable and \u201ctoo masculine\u201d when they\u2019re aggressive.<\/p>\n

Chances are, if you\u2019re a boomer woman like me, you\u2019ll find yourself recommending\u00a0What Works for Women at Work<\/em>\u00a0to some of the younger generation of women coming up behind you. I\u2019ve already ordered two copies for my twentysomething nieces.<\/p>\n

Highlights from my interview with Williams and Dempsey:<\/p>\n

Next Avenue: What surprised you the most while interviewing professional women for this book?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Williams:<\/strong>\u00a0Ninety-six percent of the women I talked to reported to us about one or more patterns of gender bias. When I started out, gender bias shaped my career pretty profoundly. I was astonished it was still out there.<\/p>\n

(MORE<\/strong>:\u00a0The One Way Women Can Stress Less at Work<\/a>)<\/p>\n

What\u2019s the most provocative takeaway from the book?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Williams:<\/strong>\u00a0The idea among baby boomer women that the most effective way to counter \u201ctightrope\u201d bias is to use what I call gender judo.<\/p>\n

You take feminine stereotypes and flip them around so they propel you forward instead of hold you back.<\/p>\n

For example, when I came up, I was a daughter of a New England Wasp, who was very straightforward and didn’t suffer fools lightly. And I found that didn’t work very well for me. After a long time of being completely baffled, I thought: \u2018Oh, the reason it doesn\u2019t is because I was supposed to say things in a demure and indirect way.\u2019 So I very consciously began to adopt some feminine traditions like wearing more dresses. That really worked really well for me.<\/p>\n

On one hand, that is outrageous. Women shouldn\u2019t have to do that. Yet, every person is a mix of masculinity and femininity. If one or the other is a problem for you, you need to embrace the other side.<\/p>\n

Rachel, what tightrope strategies work for you?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dempsey:\u00a0<\/strong>I tend to have more problems as being viewed as too feminine. So I focus on ways to assert my authority.<\/p>\n

I am tall, but I started wearing heels in the office about a year ago, and that frankly does a lot of the work for me. When I am 6\u2019 4,\u201d I\u2019m taller than every man in the office. And I work at modulating my voice in a professional situation, trying to keep my tone steady and not speak in questions.<\/p>\n

Why do women experience those \u201ctug of war\u201d conflicts where they judge each other?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dempsey:\u00a0<\/strong>It\u2019s not because women are super-competitive. It is because there are these extreme pressures on them that men don’t face that puts them into conflict.<\/p>\n

What should women do if they\u2019re caught in a tug of war?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dempsey<\/strong>: If you are having a conflict with another woman in your office, take a step back and see where that is coming from. In a nonjudgmental way, go up to other woman and say, \u2018I don’t know if I have done something to upset you, but I really want us to be able to work together. If there is anything wrong, let me know, and I am happy to work on it.\u2019 Doing this subtly shows you will support her and that you expect the same in return.<\/p>\n

Williams:<\/strong>\u00a0Try to look for ways at your office that women can work together.<\/p>\n

Is mentoring a younger woman at work a good way to do this?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Williams:<\/strong>\u00a0Having women\u00a0mentor<\/a>\u00a0other women in the workplace may not be the solution. Older women often have tougher \u2018prove-it-again\u2019 standards for younger women than men do. They may also suggest younger women toughen up and just do it the way the guys do it because that\u2019s what worked for them.<\/p>\n

How should women deal with the \u201cProve-It-Again\u201d bias?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Williams:\u00a0<\/strong>If people are going to tend to remember your mistakes and forget your successes, it is important to keep careful, real-time records of the objective metrics you have met and the nice things that people have said about you. That way you can produce that concrete evidence in appropriate situations.<\/p>\n

Another important strategy is \u2018the posse.\u201d Form a group, preferably including men as well as women, and celebrate each other\u2019s accomplishments. You\u2019ll have other people talking about your accomplishments and your job will be to talk about theirs.<\/p>\n

What were some of the key findings you uncovered in exploring gender bias and race?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Williams:\u00a0<\/strong>What was surprising to me was that women of color were more apt to report to us about gender bias. Race bias matters, but they encounter a\u00a0lot\u00a0<\/em>of gender bias.<\/p>\n

Women of color differ from group to group in their experience. Latinos often have a problem of being too feminine and need to tone it down. Black women seem to have greater \u201cProve-It-Again\u201d problems. Even if they are extremely accomplished, they feel they can’t make one single mistake. Asian American women are better off if they\u2019re not seen as women, but as Asian, so many actually work to play that image up.<\/p>\n

What are your thoughts on Sheryl Sandberg\u2019s \u201cLean In<\/a>\u201d advice?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Williams\u00a0<\/strong>I am grateful for Sheryl for reenergizing the debate. But the backlash has been disheartening, suggesting that a rich, successful woman shouldn\u2019t be giving advice to other women. Just because Sandberg is not focused on the neediest of women does not make it irrelevant.<\/p>\n

Dempsey\u00a0<\/strong>The flip side is it is important to note that you don’t have to do everything perfectly all of the time and women need to be a little easier on themselves.<\/p>\n

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