{"id":3229,"date":"2013-08-30T17:50:23","date_gmt":"2013-08-30T21:50:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=3229"},"modified":"2013-09-23T09:25:10","modified_gmt":"2013-09-23T13:25:10","slug":"how-opt-out-women-can-opt-back-into-jobs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=3229","title":{"rendered":"How ‘Opt Out’ Women Can Opt Back Into Jobs"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"next-ave\"<\/a>All I can ask is, “What\u00a0were\u00a0<\/em>they thinking?”<\/p>\n

When I read Judith Warner\u2019s much-discussed article in Sunday\u2019s New York Times Magazine, “The Opt-Out Generation Wants Back In<\/a>,” I shrugged.<\/p>\n

Warner wrote about a cohort of well-heeled, highly educated women with six-figure incomes who married men in that same rarified strata and then, in the early 2000s, decided to step out of the workforce, stay home and raise their kids.<\/p>\n

(MORE:<\/strong>\u00a0Does Being a Mom Help or Hurt Your Career?<\/a>)<\/p>\n

The ‘Opt-Out’ Women Today<\/strong><\/p>\n

They\u2019re known as the “opt-out” women, taken from the headline of Lisa Belkin\u2019s 2003 New York Times Magazine article, “The Opt-Out Revolution<\/a>.” Belkin profiled a group of high-achievers who were able to leave the workplace thanks to their cushy financial positions and were steadfast in their decisions to do so.<\/p>\n

A decade hence, Warner finds, women like them are now rapping at the office door to get back in \u2014 and they\u2019re numbed by what they\u2019re discovering: Doors aren\u2019t swinging open for them.<\/p>\n

They\u2019re shocked, dismayed and disappointed that they aren\u2019t being welcomed back with open arms at the same lofty salaries and titles they once enjoyed.<\/p>\n

My opinion: Get over it.<\/p>\n

The world simply doesn\u2019t work that way. Not for anyone, male or female.<\/p>\n

I know a few men who quit their jobs to become stay-at-home dads and are now itching to rejoin the workforce, too. It has been an ego-crushing experience for them as well.\u00a0One friend, a 56-year-old former investment banker, has been hitting the interview circuit for nearly two years. The only offers he has received are for positions far below what he thinks he deserves. So he has declined them. That\u2019s his prerogative, though his breadwinning spouse may not totally agree with his decisions.<\/p>\n

(MORE:<\/strong>\u00a07 Tips for Breadwinner Wives Feeling the Strain<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Why Re-entering the Workforce Is Hard<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let me offer a reality check to women and men who\u2019ve opted out and explain why you can\u2019t just expect to pick up where you left off.<\/p>\n

For one thing, technology has changed radically in the past decade. Odds are the job you had is handled a lot differently these days.<\/p>\n

For another, there\u2019s the state of the U.S. economy. We\u2019re still enmeshed in a tight job market lingering from the 2008 recession. It now takes a 55-year-old worker almost a year to land a job after losing one, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.<\/p>\n

And have I mentioned\u00a0age discrimination in the workplace<\/a>? Like it or not, this ugly phenomenon is a fact at many companies. A recent AARP survey found that nearly 1 in 5 people age 45 to 74 believe they didn’t get hired because of their age. Laurie McCann, a senior attorney and age discrimination expert for AARP, says some hiring managers dismiss job hunters\u2019 applications based on their college graduation date or other tipoffs to their age.<\/p>\n

\u201cToo many older Americans trying to get or keep their jobs continue to face the significant barrier of age discrimination,\u201d said Joyce A. Rogers, AARP senior vice president for government affairs, in response to reintroduced legislation known as “The Protecting Older Workers Against Discrimination Act.” The bill would overturn two Supreme Court decisions that toughened the burden of proof for employees bringing age-discrimination claims.<\/p>\n

Living With the Choices We Make<\/strong><\/p>\n

All I could think when I read Warner\u2019s story was what a sense of entitlement these women seemed to have. To me, they\u2019ve deluded themselves into believing they were \u201cspecial\u201d in some way and would be immune to the nuances of the ever-changing working world.<\/p>\n

We all make choices in life. And as Deborah Jacobs just wrote in her smart, if blunt,\u00a0Forbes blog about the opt-out moms<\/a>, \u201cso be it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jacobs said: \u201cThe corporate world values work experience, and no matter how you spin the story about your PTA service and volunteer work, staying home with the kids is not work experience.\u201d<\/p>\n

The women I know who\u00a0have<\/em>\u00a0managed to find satisfying work after stepping away have sometimes had to go down the corporate ladder before they can go up. Sometimes, they\u2019ve gone sideways.<\/p>\n

Jungle Gyms and Ladders<\/strong><\/p>\n

But “ladder” isn\u2019t the best metaphor in today\u2019s work world.\u00a0I agree with what Sheryl Sandberg said<\/a>\u00a0in her bestseller,\u00a0Lean In<\/em>: You need to think of your\u00a0career as a jungle gym<\/a>.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a great image of the 21st-century career path. \u201cLadders are limiting,\u201d Sandberg wrote. \u201cJungle gyms offer more creative exploration. There are many ways to get to the top of a jungle gym. The ability to forge a unique path with occasional dips, detours and even dead ends presents a better chance for fulfillment.\u201d<\/p>\n

In truth, the women I know in their 50s who\u2019ve managed to get back to duties and salaries near what they once commanded never left the workforce entirely, even if they were on the proverbial mommy track.<\/p>\n

They did contract and consulting work. Some set up flex arrangements with their bosses for shorter workweeks or job sharing. They never got out of the game.<\/p>\n

You really can’t expect to be valued by employers in the same way as when you were a hotshot Princeton graduate if you haven’t been honing your experience, sharpening skills and adding accolades. It\u2019s simply too competitive out there for these cr\u00e8me de la cr\u00e8me positions.<\/p>\n

I suspect that the women Warner revisited were high-achieving enough that for most of their lives when they wanted something, they got it through hard work and smarts.<\/p>\n

But it takes more than that to turn back the clock. You need creativity, humility and perhaps the understanding that a job with purpose can mean more than an enormous paycheck.<\/p>\n

7 Career Tips for Opting Back In<\/strong><\/p>\n

OK, now that I\u2019ve gotten all that off my chest, let me offer seven moves that\u00a0can\u00a0<\/em>help you push the door back open:<\/p>\n

1. Pump up your networking.<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, this really works.\u00a0Networking<\/a>\u00a0isn\u2019t necessarily going to land you a job tomorrow; it\u2019s a process of developing contacts gradually.<\/p>\n

Remember to show interest in what other people are up to and learn from them. When I\u2019m at a networking event, I spend twice as much time listening as talking, with a goal of meeting at least three new people and getting their contact information.<\/p>\n

(MORE:<\/strong>\u00a0Why Women Should Join Networking Groups<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s an example of how networking paid off for one opt-out married mom, Sandy Shaw, 55, now the vice president of corporate partnerships at the nonprofit\u00a0Points of Light<\/a>. (I interviewed her for an\u00a0article in AARP Bulletin<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

Shaw had a successful finance career but called it quits at 40, spending the next 15 years raising her two sons and volunteering in their schools. When her eldest son went off to college last year, she decided to look for a job with meaning and began networking with friends and former colleagues, widening that circle daily. She pledged never to end a phone call or leave a meeting without a new person to get in touch with. Six months later, Shaw landed her current job. It pays less than what she once made, but she loves it.<\/p>\n

2. Start your own business (or freelance) to get back up to speed.<\/strong>\u00a0Gwenn Rosener, now 49, a former $160,000-a-year Ernst & Young senior manager with a Harvard MBA, couldn\u2019t land even a quality part-time job in 2010 when she decided to stop being a stay-at-home mom. So she and two other women launched a company to help people like them find work.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was shocked, somewhat naively, to discover that there were few options for someone like me,\u201d Rosener told me. The part-time opportunities she found were mostly entry-level temp work and short-term consulting projects. When one of the top-paying jobs she she fielded was selling her reproductive eggs to a clinic for a fertility study, Rosener knew she needed to go out on her own.<\/p>\n

Her anxiety was in sync with two other fortysomething moms, Sheila Murphy and Ellen Grealish, who faced a similar dilemma. The three women ultimately created\u00a0FlexProfessionals<\/a>, a recruiting and staffing company specializing in part-time professionals in the Washington, D.C., area.<\/p>\n

3. Add skills and certificates.<\/strong>\u00a0Not up on the latest technology or changes in your former field? Sign up for classes and make an investment in your future. A\u00a0specialized professional certificate<\/a>\u00a0from a\u00a0community college\u00a0<\/a>or trade association (with classes that you can take in person or online) might be the card you need to punch.<\/p>\n

4. Dive into the social media pool.<\/strong>\u00a0That means you need to get comfortable with, and use\u00a0LinkedIn<\/a>,\u00a0Twitter<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Facebook<\/a>. Employers expect it.<\/p>\n

While you\u2019re at it, spend time searching online for news stories about places where you want to work then visit their websites. Use your social media skills to tweet, post on Facebook and comment on LinkedIn about what you\u2019ve learned to show others that you\u2019re up to speed.<\/p>\n

5. Look for jobs at small companies.<\/strong>\u00a0They can’t always afford to lure top-level talent with sweet benefits like stock options, 401(k) plans and generous health insurance. So they may be thrilled to snag someone as sharp as you.<\/p>\n

6. Volunteer.\u00a0<\/strong>With due respect to Deborah Jacobs, I think that meaningful volunteering can be an excellent way to eventually land a job. You can demonstrate your skills helping out at a nonprofit and then tout your accomplishments when applying for a paid position. You might even wind up getting hired at the organization where you volunteer. A few recent\u00a0surveys have shown that volunteering helps job candidates<\/a>\u00a0find work.<\/p>\n

7. Check out the \u201cbest employers for workers over 50.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong>AARP and the Society for Human Resource Management complied a list of what they consider to be the\u00a0Top 50 Employers<\/a>\u00a0who recognize the value of older workers and tend to recruit\u00a0mature workers<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The National Institutes of Health topped the ranking, followed by Scripps Health of Southern California. Others include: Atlantic Health System (of Morristown, N.J.), the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center, Houston, Cornell University and Michelin North America.<\/p>\n

My ‘Opt-Out’ Mom<\/strong><\/p>\n

A parting thought: I often think of what an amazing public relations pro my mom would have been if she hadn\u2019t stepped out of the workforce in the late 1950s to raise her four children. Now in her 80s, she does an incredible job of spreading the word about my latest books and articles.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m grateful that she does it all pro bono; I can\u2019t imagine what her retainer fee would be.<\/p>\n

Thanks, Mom.<\/p>\n

posted by\u00a0Kerry Hannon<\/a><\/p>\n

More by this autho<\/a>r<\/a><\/p>\n

\"Silhouetted<\/p>\n

Kerry Hannon has spent more than 25 years covering personal finance for Forbes, Money, U.S. News & World Report and USA Today. Her website is\u00a0kerryhannon.com<\/a>. Follow her on Twitter\u00a0@kerryhannon<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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