{"id":1958,"date":"2012-07-12T09:42:53","date_gmt":"2012-07-12T13:42:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=1958"},"modified":"2012-07-12T09:56:57","modified_gmt":"2012-07-12T13:56:57","slug":"second-verse-money-and-marriage-6-tips-for-success","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kerryhannon.com\/?p=1958","title":{"rendered":"Second Verse: Money and Marriage: 6 Tips for Success"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Today is my husband,\u00a0Cliff Hackel<\/a>, and my 20th<\/sup>Wedding Anniversary.<\/p>\n

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Yep. We got married on the Fourth of July. Independence Day.<\/p>\n

It was a sunny day, brilliant blue skies, and there we were in a beautiful garden in Aldie, VA, surrounded by our families, best friends, and bright orange daylilies.<\/p>\n

Small, intimate, and oxymoronic, but so right.<\/p>\n

Ring them bells.<\/p>\n

Here are six money lessons I\u2019ve learned in these two decades that have kept our partnership happy and solid.<\/p>\n

Live debt-free<\/strong>. Cliff is a raging debt-o-phobe, so the only debt we have had since we bought our house in\u00a0Washington<\/a>, DC, days before our marriage is a mortgage. All credit cards are paid in full each month. House rule.<\/p>\n

Keep separate and joint accounts<\/strong>. We keep joint savings, checking and investments accounts. But we also have our individual retirement accounts, bank and credit card accounts. This is key, especially for women. Having your own accounts allows you to have established good credit records of your own, in case things head south. I also have a phone and electric bill in my name. Financial independence.<\/p>\n

A pre-approved purchase agreement<\/strong>. We have an unspoken agreement that purchases below a certain amount are discretionary. If the dollar amount creeps above $500, say, a big airfare to visit a pal in Hong Kong, then we discuss. This has never been a problem for us, but keeps the big-ticket items from being a surprise. And it provides a sense of accountability.<\/p>\n

When I was single, I did manage to run up some credit card debt. Mostly, I think because I didn\u2019t have someone to act as my check and balance. I\u2019m grateful for Cliff\u2019s oversight. Honest.<\/p>\n

Vacation together.<\/strong>\u00a0We both travel a lot on business and to visit and spend time with family and friends, so it\u2019s key that we set aside at least a week each year that is\u00a0our<\/em>\u00a0trip. Most years we have tried to travel to a different country and absorb a new culture, but some years heading to Mendocino on the left coast, as Washingtonians sometimes view it, is idyllic. The point is we spend money to spend time together and have shared experiences. Priceless.<\/p>\n

Set a date night.<\/strong>\u00a0Save from my youthful 20s spent living in\u00a0New York<\/a>\u00a0City, dining out and entertainment have never been a big part of either of our budgets. And in our line of business, we do tend to have working meals, when we\u2019re on the road. Plus, we both like to cook, and we always say you can\u2019t get a meal out as nice as what we can cook at home, or in our country cottage, where we can dine al fresco overlooking the Shenandoah Mountains and Old Rag.<\/p>\n

But we try to find one night a week that we do something out together. This doesn\u2019t always pan out, but when it does it\u2019s money well spent. It\u2019s never extravagant-often a movie and tapas at our favorite Spanish restaurant inBethesda<\/a>, Jaleo<\/a>. We belly up to the tiled-bar counter, perch on stools, and order a few dishes. Or we might shell out for tickets to go to hear\u00a0EmmyLou Harris<\/a>\u00a0at\u00a0Wolf Trap<\/a>\u00a0or\u00a0Daniel Lanois<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Trixie Whitley<\/a>\u00a0at the\u00a09:30 Club.<\/a><\/p>\n

Keep earning.<\/strong>\u00a0Money is power in a marriage\u2013even if it\u2019s subliminal, unspoken. When my income dips, I can feel the balance of our relationship shift. Not a word has been spoken, but I know it. I have to rein in spending. Check my horse habit. Stop buying so many books. In the years, when I earned more, we got along better. Money \u201cdiscussions\u201d were few and far between and that made everything less stressful.<\/p>\n

Finally, we both share a work ethic that bolsters and supports the other. We have given each other the gift of financial independence, so we can follow our dreams, work for ourselves and pursue projects that have meaning for us\u2013 and touch others lives at the same time<\/p>\n